Getting Your Spouse on the Healthy Bandwagon

The saying goes that opposites attract, and if you look at the fitness habits of spouses, you'll see that it is often true. Differences in fitness levels can quickly become a source of struggle, because being fit or not fit is not just a matter of preference or opinion, it is the result of many different lifestyle choices: You want to eat plenty of fruits and vegetables, he'd rather eat frozen pizza. Or, you want to go on a long bike ride this weekend, she'd rather get a pedicure. It can be material for a comedy routine, but it can also lead to arguments, insecurities, and frustration.

If you both start off unfit, initially your spouse will be thrilled that you have decided to do something to help yourself lead a healthier lifestyle, and his or her support will come easily. But once you become fit, the very things that have helped you make this momentous change can become sore spots in the family dynamic. Perhaps now you aren't consuming as much alcohol, or you no longer share the bond of enjoying your previously favorite foods. Then one of three things happens:

1. The now-fit spouse is starting to look great and the unfit spouse is left feeling insecure.  If the unfit spouse does not deal with these emotions it can cause a major problem in the relationship.

2.  The now-fit spouse gives up their fitness pursuits in an effort to make the playing field level again.

3. The now-fit spouse desperately wants the unfit spouse to step up his or her efforts to become fit.

All of these problems can be temporary if you work with each other.  Here are some pointers on what to do and not do to help:

1.  DO NOT criticize.  As simple as this sounds and as much as everyone knows this, this subject always seems to be an exception to their rule.  Remember that under no circumstances are you allowed to criticize your spouse for his or her choices.

2.  Think of your job as educating your spouse. When you want someone close to you to change their behavior changed, you have a greater chance of success if the other person is tempted by the benefits of that change.  Communicate, in a non-annoying way, about the benefits you're experiencing of being
more fit.

3.  Introduce changes gradually.  If you have made radical changes in your diet, introduce them one at a time to your spouse. For example, you may have gone completely organic and vegan, but a good first step for your spouse might be eating less butter. It may mean that you need to prepare separate meals, but it a temporary inconvenience, and worth it in the end.

4.  Have patience. You didn't get there overnight and neither will they.

5.  Accept it.  At the end of the day it's your spouse's choice whether they want to be healthier and more fit and will do what it takes.  You can't force someone.

If you'd like any other pointers about inspiring the people you love to get healthier, speak to your Kris Wade Trainer, or email us at info@kriswade.com for a complementary discovery meeting.

Yours in good health,
Kris Wade